The thought of the fact that I have to spend another year here sometimes haunts me. I don’t like the feeling...yes ..it was my decision to come all the way to Bangalore for the PG. The college, the course, the people and the place... everything is great. But yes, there’s a problem ...I can’t stop missing home and my family. I know, it’s absolutely normal and that anyone who is away from home feels the same. Most of the times I stay busy with my course work and projects and hence I have no time to spend thinking about home. Still the thought keeps flickering in the back of my mind. But there are times when the load is lesser (something that every student in the college craves for...and which is a good thing to happen actually). These days are the most troubling ones. Ample time to sit by the window and look at the birds in the evening sky, stare at the greens and feel the aroma of the yellows , read my earlier work , think about the cool evenings back in Goa , remember some stupid joke cracked by my sister and laugh out like a mad woman and then feel ashamed about doing that all alone etc etc... The whole point is that...I miss home badly.
But a still bigger point is...what a waste of time that is! Time is of great value to us here (yeah ..but we hardly run with the clocks...not needed! Weird timings, no days , no nights , no hours or minutes for us! Or should I say, we run faster than the clock’s hands?!) and so we are thought to utilize it with 110 % efficiency.
So , how could I cheat? I had to find a way out to think less about home and do something productive during the so called free time...
I got my old diary of poems out of its hiding place, brushed the dust away and read out a few poems aloud. I felt good. Not bad ..I thought! Why not do some scribbling right now , was the second thought ...so..my pen ran over the blank pages.. splashing over them the colours of the place I miss so much. Read a few of Gulzar’s poems and John Keats’ work and was motivated to go on..
Music...the inseparable part of me. It makes me..me, and I can’t do without it. I got out my collection of classics and the rest and played my favourites .Some long lost energy began to flow into my body ...filling me with the feeling of happiness that soothed my brains and heart along with my ears. I felt invigorated.
Music, writing , reading were things I was used to. But time had let the dust settle onto them and ..in a way ..on my mind to. But I decided not to let the human in me die. I found an answer to a question I had thought was so difficult to be found...
