RAINDROPS....

These raindrops...
continuously ringing on my window...

Raindrops....
which lovingly touch the earth's surface..
lose their own identity..
merging with the earth forever..
the silken touch of rejuvenation...

It all reminds me of u..
the way u rained..on my body n my soul..
made yourself a part of me..
giving my life a new name..
not different from yours..

These rains..
poured..
and...brought back to life..
all those dead corners of my being..
to see all new colors and lights..
and..
not to head towards the end anymore...

The lush greens now sway..
on this earth..
hues of love bloom..
and adorn the land..
in the misty and rainy environs...

Its all so beautiful...
the watery winds..
the cloudy darkness..
the flying away of dry leaves..
the sudden change..
summers to rains...

The slight drizzle..
the drenched earth..
the blowing breeze..
the sudden rise ..
of the intoxicating fragrance of the wet earth...

And then ..
the thunder and lightning..
and rains in full swing..

It all reminds me of u..
u being with me ..
and the raindrops..
ringing...singing..in love...

Our hearts scented..
floating in the air...
to be together forever..
and forever would be..
these rains...for u..and for me....

TO CONQUER THE UNDONE...

Numerous times.. Comes the defeat....
And the soul loses the smile n its way...
Myriad obstacles ...hundreds of downs..
why don’t they all vanish ..i say..

I dream n dream...
of the sweet past .. not of the future any longer..
its all backwards nw....
the memories... i have to thrive on ..n nthn more ...

the faces i need to see to gather courage,
always so fresh n close to me...
closer than even before stand all of them...
but amidst all this ..y cant i find me???...

i walk ..i run...
i drag... i learn...
hurt and fallen...shattered n broken...
i stand up ..yet again...to conquer the undone...

I MISS U....

This evening has said a lot..
And I have heard the unsaid...
I know far away from my horizon.....you miss me..
Just the way... I miss u here.....

Left alone in a world of many...
Unable to find joy in rains of happiness..
Such is the state..I dragged myself in..
Now I have no remedy.. for this scary loneliness....

Got it all that I craved for...
But have lost a lot in the way ...
The winds blow like they used to before...
But now they take me all away...

The roads that led nowhere I remember...
Still they had a lot so special...
I walked the path with u ...past those adorning flowers...
Unaware of the ordeal..

All is the same..and nothings the same...
The clock still runs... but I hardly run with it...
Seasons seem to change ..but not mine this time....
All is ..but I am not fine...

It’s simple but the most difficult to say... I tell u..
Amidst all the good...I badly miss u....

Metamorphosis...

It’s said...change is the way of life..But what do u call a big change, that transforms most of the properties affecting life?..its metamorphosis...
Don’t want to write about the gains and losses..but want to just put it all up here with all possible efforts..trying to bring out the sensitive details.I hope what follows reconstructs all that i have experienced...the starter two big days in a new place...and the big changes...

Bangalore is a great place. Apart from its wonderful climate and people, what makes it different is.. its love to provide shelter to thousand who come from different corners of the country and outside. The city doesn’t ask them their religion, caste or colour ..it’s just knows.. that all are humans created by the omnipresent..and that it can just make His earth more beautiful by letting all the blended fragrances from colourful flowers ,from various gardens of the world find solace in this lovely place here...so people come...leaving a lot behind and.. to find a lot more here...
So..as a custom..Bangalore welcomed me..I just felt like it knew that I had left my loved ones behind in Goa...and that I would miss them all..and also the fact that..it was a dream of mine come true to be here for a reason...hostilities just vanished in seconds..it was feeling like home...
For me, my heaven is not anything other than my mom, dad, sisters and my better half... then why was i liking it here? it took a while for me to sort that out. All my beloveds were here to see me get settled..n so ..times were fine...and now the time had come to face the moment...
I ..had found the best place for myself to be in and to chase my dreams..but ..it also made me understand the pain of departure and separation..Yeah...they all were leaving and it dawned to me that ..its gonna be a different place here without them..would i still like it here ,i thought, and call it heaven?
They said bye..and eyes gave way...hearts cried...brains didn’t accept the reality and went off beat ...a slight fear succeeded in engulfing me ..i don’t even let it touch me otherwise!!
But ....bad leads to good..my sometimes annoying talkative and amiable nature did not let me stay alone for long...i made friends..many of them...i don’t feel alone any more...:)
The next morning saw me rising along with it.. with improper sleep(the first night was almost sleepless ,was waiting to hear that my parents have reached home safe and also was missing them all).it had been a busy day 1.setting up the room and settling down had made me tired.
But the sunlight entering my window got a lot with it...the fresh air blended with the scent of the garden blossoms told me that this place has something special in here..it made me re-think...I found the answers...n this place was not at all hostile from now on...
I prepared myself for everything that i thought would come my way...now no looking back, i have decided....Indeed Bangalore now means a lot to me ...

Never to say goodbye...

I am not saying this surrendering myself to the feeling of nostalgia...it’s just a better way of saying something as soft as ‘I would miss it all’..It’s something that has not only taken me through the up and downs of the good and bad...but it is also responsible for making me..’me’.

In fact..I have been fortunate enough as compared to the students who just get to spend four years of Grad here..Two years more were added to my four years of beautiful memories of GOA COLLEGE OF ENGINEERING... this time it helped me see it all in a different angle..It just got a wonderful thing done from me..It made me share my li’l store of knowledge with my students...

The four years of student life wouldn’t be different from the usual experiences of u all..Lectures, seminars, submissions, punishments, term works, exams, viva etc mixed well with the flavour of fun and frolic, games and laughter, picnics and treats and fests..Can never forget those days ...time spent in splashing waters on each other in rains and also the times when rain gear was lend to friends ..out of concern...:)..

But the two years I got to be here as a lecturer have been way different...it was a time of getting to know myself better. It was something which was much more difficult and challenging than attending a lecture or answering a question in a class of friends. Hours of study and preparation before delivering a lecture, entering the class to see around 60 to 70(this time it was 82!!) inquisitive faces just waiting to put forth a numerous queries..it seemed to have become a way of life..I found myself learning as a teacher..it was truly an amazing experience..filled with excitement. The same heart that was a li’l nervous during the first few lectures, just happened to catch the heart beats of my students right..and it all went very well...it earned me a lot more than just money...
Differences, quarrels and misunderstandings in the working environment didn’t keep me affected for long..as I always had a way to do away with it all--my friends..:)

Yeah..the ‘system’ still remains to be slow and unsorted. I hate the way work gets done here. Many with a lull on their faces and dull appearances have walked along with me here. The ‘why-should-I-do-it?’, ‘come-later-its-tea-time’ (all the time..:D), and ‘do-not-bother-me’ spell has worked successfully well on many ...but ya ..it just made my belief in this stronger..’it takes all kinds of people to make the world’....

The best part is that...I was never left alone to face all the unpleasant that came my way ..In these two years, my life has changed and got still more colorful..I added a few more hues to my friends-palette of life...:)

It wasn’t remarkable how we met..but yes , whatever followed really was awesome. It didn’t take time for us to know that we had a few things in common. We shared experiences, jokes and even cabins and lunch...this friendship has taught me to stand storms and render courage. It has made me understand the importance of being surrounded by people, in the true sense of the term..The sharing enriched my life, elevated it and in no time I discovered that it’s become an important aspect of it..
.
It’s true..a few moments and a few people influence one’s life real positively..In the process of teaching I learnt things that a student in me always wanted to learn..It all prepared me for the real rough world and I am thankful to all those who have added a share of theirs in the efforts I put to see life more clearly...

I can’t deny the fact that, I would really miss this place...but I haven’t said goodbye..I will come back..to relive it all!!...

SAY THAT,,U'LL MISS ME...

When I have you, I have it all..
When I have you not, I have nothing ..
Cold is my soul, drenched in tears of my own..
I just lost myself some where, when I tried finding you close…

My heart so lonely, fails to understand..
That my eyes will find u for sure again..
Convinced its not , when I say to it..
That the nite will come to an end, where your love would begin..

Same is the nite ..and..same is the sea..
Same is the moon and it’s the same me..
But gone is the warmth and where’s your feel??
I am all alone…why are u not with me??

Far I can sense your heart crying for mine..
To forget the world in our love so divine..
Tied to you forever stands my soul..
I have no words for u.. no word to console..

Its not good, n its not good at all..
M losing it and m about to fall..
Hold me again the way u always did..
Don’t cry..m coming..i can still hear u call..

Say that you’ll miss me,say that you don’t want me to go..
Say that its okay if I find nothing more..
Say that it isn’t fair enough this way..
Say that you’ll miss me and you want me to stay….